Brownstone » Brownstone Journal » “Hallucinations, Nightmares, Despair, Longing for Human Contact” ~ Letter to Editor

“Hallucinations, Nightmares, Despair, Longing for Human Contact” ~ Letter to Editor


I so appreciated your article about being sick and alone. Here is my story. 

I was a healthy 52 year old female with the only pre-existing condition being high blood pressure. I became sick in late August 2021. I finally had to go to the hospital ER with hypoxia and syncope. 

My husband had to just drop me off at the ER, he was not even allowed to walk me in. No one in my immediate or extended family has EVER been alone in a hospital before this planned madness. 

I remember as a kid camping out in waiting rooms, sleeping in pulled together chairs. Always on the ready if the sick loved one needed anything. Nurses have always been overworked, and mundane things like getting ice water refilled or asking the right questions if our person couldn’t process the information, has been a standard practice for us. 

I have always believed that it is cruel and unsafe to deny a hospitalized person an advocate. I NEVER left one of my children alone (I have slept in uncomfortable hospital recliners many times). I stayed with my husband every minute, and my parents have always had one of us around the clock. 

This past year, nearly everyone in my family has been sick with Covid, denied early treatment,  then placed in solitary confinement in hospitals. The death cult protocols almost killed me. 

No one was allowed to see me for 21 days. I was deprived of human contact. Drs. would stand at the door and call me on the phone to discuss treatment. They lost my glasses. I became disoriented and frightened. I am the steady one with a relatively firm grasp on medical processes and terminology. I have had to research for years searching for appropriate treatment for my daughter who has a rare debilitating disease. I also work in the medical field, so I am quite comfortable discussing test results and medicine. 

I was not prepared for the absolute horror of being alone and no longer trusting that doctors actually wanted me to live. As I became increasingly lethargic and disoriented, I kept trying to be my own advocate and begging for the right to try medicine and vitamins that I had researched and knew would help me. 

If I had been able to stand on my feet, I would have walked out, but the protocols designed to kill act fast. I spent 5.5 wks in that prison. When they did allow visitors, it was one per day and visiting hours were over at 5 Pm. My husband doesn’t get off work until 4:45. If someone came and could only stay for a few minutes, that was your one visitor, no one else was allowed. 

I don’t have many clear memories after the first few days, but the hallucinations, nightmares, and despair of longing for human contact will always be vivid. I believe that were I to have a conversation with a POW, our emotional trauma might be similar. There is going to be a day of reckoning either here on Earth or in Heaven for the horrible crimes against humanity, and the statement, “I was just following orders,” will not exempt!! ~ Angela Dittman

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